Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
Medically reviewed and verified by Kate Burke, MD, MHA
Navigating the world of dating can be challenging for any teenager. For children with congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), there are some added layers of complexity. As a parent, it is important to approach this topic with understanding, patience, and honesty. You are trying to give your child the tools they need to thrive! So what do you need to know? This overview from PatientsLikeMe will help you start a meaningful conversation about dating and relationships with your child tailored to the unique challenges they may face.
How CAH Can Impact Development
To start, you first need to understand how CAH may influence your child physically, emotionally, and socially. It should be noted that most children with CAH go on to live perfectly normal lives! The challenges they face at this age will be very similar to what a child without the condition is going through. There are just a few additional things to keep in mind.
Physical Changes
Children with CAH may experience early or late puberty. This can affect their self-esteem and relationships with other kids their age. Hormonal imbalances can cause symptoms like excessive hair growth, acne, or a short stature. Again, this can make them feel different from others. If a girl with CAH went through a surgical procedure to correct ambiguous external genitalia, they might have concerns around how they appear or function sexually.
Emotional Challenges
The same hormonal fluctuations can change mood and behavior. Puberty and teen years are hard for any child, but for those with CAH they have an added layer of managing hormone deficiencies. Children with CAH may also feel self-conscious or anxious when it comes to talking about their condition.
Social Challenges
Because CAH has an impact on sexual development and characteristics, gender identity and interests are important to keep in mind. For the most part, gender identity disorder among people with CAH is rare. It is important to make sure your child understands how their condition affects their body, and that they can still live a normal life with proper treatment.
Knowing what’s going on inside the body can help explain congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH) symptoms.
Watch now: Why don’t I feel good?
There’s a range of CAH signs and symptoms.
People with CAH make too little cortisol and aldosterone, while producing too many androgens. These hormone imbalances affect the body’s ability to function properly. Learn more about the range of CAH signs and symptoms and how steroids help treat both cortisol deficiency and androgen overproduction.
Learn more about these key hormones at: whatthecah.com.
Starting the Conversation
Everyone has different comfort levels around talking to their children about these sensitive subjects. This is meant to be a helpful launch-point, or a guide to starting the conversation. To begin, start small and age-appropriate. Introduce basic concepts of relationships and dating early on. For younger children, frame it as “getting to know someone special.” You should use simple explanations when talking about their condition. Children may not fully understand what an adrenal gland is, so diving into the complexities of CAH may fall on deaf ears. Encourage your child to ask questions and set the pace for deeper discussions. Next, you should try to normalize their experiences! Emphasize that they are not defined by CAH. Explain that everyone has unique challenges, and CAH is just one part of who they are. Highlight the fact that people with CAH can live full, happy lives, including dating, marriage, and having children.
So what practical tips should you, as a parent, try to follow? Here is a short list:
- Be an open and supportive listener
- Use visual aids and stories
- Encourage professional support
- Set ground rules
- Focus on positivity
You need to create a safe space for your child to share their feelings and concerns without being afraid of judgment. Illustrated books or diagrams can help explain CAH and its effects. Stories of other teens with CAH can make your child feel less alone. If need be, consider involving a counselor to address any specific concerns your child might have about dating. Work together on dating rules that balance independence and safety. Agree on curfews and the importance of staying in public spaces for early dates. Remind your child that they can experience all the joys of dating and relationships, just like anyone else.
Key Topics to Cover When Talking About Dating
1. Tips on Explaining Their Condition
When starting dating, they may wonder how to talk to a partner about CAH. Help your child find the words to explain CAH in a way that feels comfortable for them. They can say something like: “I have a condition where my body makes extra hormones, so I take medicine to help balance it.” Reassure them that it’s okay to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with. Let your child know it’s their choice to share information about their condition.
2. Body Image and Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is something that every teenager is going to struggle with at times. Talk about the importance of self-acceptance and highlight you child's strengths beyond physical traits. Address any concerns they might have about how CAH has affected their body, including surgical scars or other physical differences.
3. Setting Boundaries and Consent
Teach your child to recognize their own boundaries and respect those of others. You can run through common scenarios and assure them that it is okay to say "no" when they feel uncomfortable! Explain that respect and communication are the foundation of any relationship. Talk about the importance of mutual consent and how to identify red flags in a partner’s behavior.
Children with CAH can lead normal, fulfilling lives, including finding love and forming healthy relationships. As a parent, your role is to guide them and equip them with the tools they need to succeed. By starting early, fostering open communication, and addressing their unique challenges, you can help your child approach dating with confidence and self-assurance.
Remember, you are your child's biggest advocate! Keep encouraging their independence while remaining their unwavering support system. Help your child navigate dating with the knowledge that CAH is just one part of their life, not the whole thing. By focusing on love, respect, and open communication, you are giving your child the foundation they need to build meaningful relationships and a happy future.