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Becoming a parent in any capacity is a huge life change, but for those with anxiety it can cause immense stress that can be difficult to regulate. If you are parenting with anxiety, there are a number of ways you can take care of yourself as well as your kids to remain happy, healthy and safe. Let's dive into a quick summary of anxiety, the symptoms associated with it, and steps you can take to successfully parent while managing anxiety.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, generalized anxiety disorder is a mental health condition that causes excessive, persistent, and unrealistic worry about everyday events or activities. People with GAD may have difficulty controlling their worry, which can impact their social, occupational, or other areas of life.
GAD affects about 3% of the adult population in the US but is twice as likely to affect women as men.”
Anxiety & Depression Association of America
There are over 46,000 PatientsLikeMe members sharing their experience with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). 71% of them are women, which falls in line with the Anxiety & Depression Association of America's statistic.
Parents living with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) face the added challenge of managing persistent and excessive worry while juggling the demands of parenthood. Being a parent comes with concern for your children's well-being, along with everyday responsibilities and being in the constant state of anxiety can be overwhelming. Parents managing GAD often struggle to find balance as GAD can affect their ability to relax and enjoy family life. However, with proper treatment, support, and self-care strategies to manage their symptoms they can provide support to their family and take care of their own mental health.
Symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Individuals with generalized anxiety disorder or another anxiety condition experience constant and excessive worry. Usually considered an overreaction, it may prove difficult to distinguish your anxious feelings from the reality of the situation.
Understanding your condition is a critical first step to being a successful parent with anxiety. If you know what symptoms to look out for, you can better anticipate when you need to take a step back or regroup. The most common symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder are:
- Insomnia
- Trembling
- Twitching
- Muscle tension
- Headaches
- Irritability
- Sweating
- Hot flashes
- Dizziness
- Trouble breathing
- Nausea
- Frequent urination
- Fatigue
- Trouble focusing
- Trouble making decisions
- Inability to concentrate
- Being easily startled
- Unable to relax
Many of these symptoms can be caused by other mental health conditions as well so be sure to consult with a medical professional for a proper diagnosis.
Steps to Successfully Parent with Anxiety
When you are deciding to become a parent there is a lot to consider. But with all of the factors that have to be taken into account, and all of the preparations that must be made, it can be easy to gloss over a mental health condition. Whether you are a new or seasoned parent living with anxiety, there are a number of ways to practice self-care to successfully navigate your condition without negatively impacting your kids.
Establish Boundaries
As a passionate parent, you likely want to do all of the things. Volunteering, the PTA, attending sporting events and award shows, and generally being present for your child or children. The reality is that parenting with anxiety means there will be good days and bad days. The National Alliance on Mental Illness recommends, “you learn what you can handle and don't force yourself into situations that push you further than you’re comfortable being pushed. It’s okay to say no. Boundaries are not a weakness, they are an established safe zone.”
By establishing boundaries for yourself, your family and those that you are in community with, it will allow you the time and space for self-care. This is critical for individuals living with anxiety to be able to self-regulate and avoid worsening symptoms such as panic attacks.
Create a Safe Space
Overstimulation is a big part of anxiety disorders. When you’re in a family dynamic, the constant activity or noise can get overwhelming quickly. Especially if you are dealing with infants or toddlers. When possible, find something in your daily life that creates a safe and quiet space for you to regroup. When parenting with anxiety, some suggestions include: reading, crafts, a long bath or shower, listening to music with noise canceling headphones, or taking a nap. You may be wondering, when will I have time to do this ‘safe space’ activity, but it really should be a priority. Make sure to tag in support to help you create the room for self-care. It’s critical to your success.
Seek Support from Loved Ones
Whether it is your partner, or another family member, it is critical for those parenting with anxiety to lean on others for support. When you are feeling overwhelmed or extremely anxious, instead of insisting on being around your kids and possibly impacting them, don’t hesitate to tag in your ‘village.’ This way, your kids can remain carefree while you take some much needed time to yourself. If you find that you are having difficulty asking for help, consider sharing your warning signs or triggers with a loved one who can help you to recognize when you are beginning to spiral. Prevention is a great way to cope with an anxiety disorder. By staying ahead of the curve, you can usually diffuse most if not all of your symptoms before they take hold.
Professional Interventions
Medication and therapy are two proven ways to improve the symptoms of anxiety or generalized anxiety disorder. A medical professional will not only be able to properly diagnose you, but will be able to help you establish a kind of ‘toolkit’ to pull out when you need it most. Most often, individuals with anxiety are treated using CBT or DBT therapies that help to change our thoughts and behaviors. As a result, many people build up resiliency to the symptoms of their mental health condition utilizing coping skills.
Use Coping Skills
Speaking of which, coping skills are “tools that help people manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in a healthy way when faced with stressful situations,” according to the National Institute of Health. These skills could include meditation, deep breathing, or progressive muscle relaxation. By approaching things in a healthy way, you are not only helping yourself but also teaching your children how to show up in healthy ways as well.
Finding Balance and Support on Your Journey
Doing anything with anxiety can feel inherently scary, but especially something as big and life altering as becoming a parent. Whether you are new to this or an established guardian, it is always good to remember to extend yourself grace, love and patience. These are amazing qualities to instill in your children and will help them understand that their imperfections are not their limitations. Rather, there are ways to navigate through difficult moments in life with a plan that works for you. After all, there is no greater lesson you can teach your kids than self-love. And that starts with you.
