Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
When a person has a mental disorder like major depressive disorder, and you are on the sidelines watching your loved one suffer, it can be difficult. People have a natural inclination to distract those suffering from feeling the symptoms of their disorder. This is not necessarily the best course of action. Though it may provide temporary relief, there are several more effective ways you can support someone going through a depressive episode. Here is what you can do to help a loved one with depression.
Learn About Depression
One of the best ways you can support your friend or loved one who is experiencing depressive symptoms is to take the time to learn about the condition. Having a list of the physical and emotional effects depression causes can really help a person to recognize when they are slipping into depression as opposed to just experiencing everyday sadness. As a jumping off point, here are some symptoms of depression and the types of depression your friend or loved one might be experiencing:
Symptoms of Depression
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, symptoms of major depressive disorder may include:
- Depressed mood most of the day, regularly
- Little interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities
- Insomnia or hypersomnia regularly
- Fatigue or loss of energy regularly
- Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt
- Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness,
- Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide
Other Types of Depression
There are a few other types of depression besides major depressive disorder. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, these types of depression include:
Persistent depressive disorder (PDD): A form of depression characterized by low-grade depressive symptoms that occur for two or more years
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD): Depression that is typically seasonal that is usually triggered by winter or dark and cloudy areas
Postpartum: Involves depression symptoms after the birth or adoption of a new child.
Bipolar disorder: A mental health condition consisting of major depressive episodes often accompanied by mania or hypomania, periods of extreme or moderate energy and hyperactivity
Encourage Professional Help
One of the most important things you can do for a suffering friend or loved one is encouraging professional assistance. Whether it is talk-therapy or medication, a professional will be able to properly treat the symptoms of major depressive disorder in ways that our assistance will not be able to solve. Of course, we want to avoid diagnosing our friends or loved ones with anything, as only a professional can do that. Instead, we suggest gently bringing up changes you have noticed recently. Whether it is a negative outlook, or difficulty functioning, a list of symptoms might help the person to realize that they need a professional.
Offer to Assist
One side effect of depression is difficulty completing manageable everyday tasks. Instead of asking them to name what they need, offer some suggestions for what you might do to be able to help. Some other suggestions for what you might do are listed below.
- Once your loved one has sought professional help, encourage them not to give up on the treatments. For major depressive disorder and other forms of depression, treatment does not necessarily work right away. Encourage them to stick with their medication regiment and continue going to therapy anyway.
- The Mayo Clinic suggests “helping your friend or loved one remember to take prescribed medications and keep appointments.”
- Listen without judgement or offering suggestions. Sometimes we just need to be heard and loved on as opposed to directed. Avoid giving too much advice or opinions or placing judgements on the person. They need your empathy more than your advice.
- Encourage them with positivity. Remind them of what makes them great.
- Help them build a routine that works for them. Depression impedes our ability to function in everyday life. The Mayo Clinic suggests “offering to make a schedule for meals, medication, physical activity and sleep, outside time or time in nature, and help organize household chores.”
Provide Resources
If your friend or loved one has never experienced symptoms of depression or major depressive disorder, it might be helpful to gather reliable resources that will help to inform them of their condition. Furthermore, if your loved one is resistant to the idea of therapy or treatment for instance, it might be helpful to bring them resources that explain the benefits of getting professional assistance. If you yourself are in therapy, do not hesitate to share your own positive experiences with treatment. If the person is open to pursuing treatment, also offer to connect with the provider and set up the appointment on their behalf.
Spend Time with Them
Everyday activities become less interesting to those suffering from major depressive disorder. One terrific way to help your loved one is to spend time with them doing things they may no longer take an interest in. Especially if your loved one has begun seeking treatment, offering to do things they once enjoyed or to help them with everyday tasks may be helpful to keep them encouraged and moving forward. Some suggestions include:
- Developing an interest or hobby that the two of you can share or invite them out to socialize with you and your people.
- Offer to be a physical activity buddy as exercise is a fantastic way to combat the symptoms of depression.
- Offer to help with household chores like laundry or tidying up the house.
Take Care of Yourself
To help someone else, it is critical that you take care of yourself first. Self-care is a great way to ensure that you are not overstepping your own boundaries when caring for someone else. Make sure to eat well, get plenty of rest, and take time for yourself. Some important things to consider when you take on the task of caring for others include:
- Saying “no” when necessary
- Being honest and expressive with yourself and those around you
- Building a team of support so you do not have to take this on alone
- Delegating tasks to others if you feel like you’re taking on too much
The Power of Community
Taking care of a loved one is a beautiful way to show how much they mean to you, especially in their time of need. Remember, you are not a doctor, but rather a helper. Avoid diagnosing or providing medical advice to the person you are assisting. Rather, provide them with the resources and support they need to come to their own conclusions. That is the best way to help with their depression. And if they are searching for answers, we suggest directing them to the community on PatientsLikeMe, where others suffering from the same or similar mental and mood disorders can help them find some answers. Additionally, there are caregiver resources and groups you can join to help you. Joining PatientsLikeMe is free-- download the app or join online today!