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A recent study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that “one in 14 kids in the U.S. has a caregiver with poor mental health.” Mental health is a critical part of a child’s overall well-being. When specialists talk about mental health, they mean the mental, emotional, and behavioral health of a child. This in turn impacts how a child thinks, feels, and acts. It also determines a child’s resilience and how they cope with stress and make sound choices. Although mental health conditions are not contagious, there are some genetic markers that may indicate a predisposition to certain disorders, especially bipolar disorder.
What is Bipolar Disorder?
Bipolar disorder, as defined by the National Institute of Mental Health, was previously known as manic-depressive disorder. This disorder “causes unusual shifts in a person’s mood, energy, activity levels, and concentration. These shifts can make it difficult to carry out day-to-day tasks. “Most people with bipolar experience extremely high highs (known as mania or hypomania) and extremely low lows (known as severe depression). It can impact not only a person’s mood but also their “energy, activity levels, and concentration.”
How Does it Start?
A chemical imbalance is the known cause for bipolar disorder, but medical professionals are not sure exactly what triggers this chemical imbalance. According to the National Institute of Health, “In some cases, symptoms can appear suddenly for no known reason. In other cases, the symptoms seem to come after a life crisis, stress, or illness.” It is critical, however, for children to understand that they are in no way the cause for this disorder.
How to Explain Bipolar Disorder to Kids
When describing bipolar disorder or other mental health conditions to children, it can be difficult to find the right language to help it make sense. According to the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, some ways to describe bipolar disorder include:
- When someone has a condition like bipolar disorder, their brain works differently from other people. Our brains help us to “think, feel and act in certain ways.” When someone has bipolar disorder “they think, feel and act differently from when they are well.”
- There are two parts of bipolar disorder. Feelings of being really happy and having a lot of energy and feeling really sad and having very little energy.
- Having bipolar disorder or another mental or emotional health condition is not a bad thing nor is it a sign of weakness.
- Some people have a hard time managing their bipolar disorder while others don’t struggle much. It varies from person to person.
Living With a Bipolar Parent
A child’s experience with a bipolar parent can be difficult at times. Because of extreme mood swings, children are often left with negative emotions such as anger, fear, or confusion. Of course, the stigma around bipolar disorder is part of how individuals handle this disease. Parents tend to hide the realities of their mood disorder from their children. This is often because of shame or guilt, which leaves room for misinterpretation or miscommunication.
Talking about what you are feeling or experiencing can also help your child to cope with your condition. This way, when you are acting out of character, it does not feel like it is coming out of nowhere. Children are both perceptive and receptive. They often have an easier time understanding when a person is struggling more than adults do.
How to Cope With Bipolar Disorder as a Parent
Although there is no known cure for bipolar disorder, the good news is that it is treatable. “Most people with bipolar disorder manage very well with ongoing treatment and find that the illness is kept under control most of the time so they can lead a normal life.” Statistically speaking, almost everyone who gets treated successfully for bipolar disorder will improve and some may even completely recover. Medicine seems to be the most effective form of treatment for this condition. Talk therapy and other therapeutic settings have been shown to help.
When talking to your kids about treatment, you can use some of the following language to help them understand how you can get better:
- Mom or Dad can take medicine to make them feel better just like you do when you have a cough or cold.
- This medicine helps the chemicals in the brain work better. It helps mom or dad think, feel and behave like normal instead of feeling really excited or really sad.
- Mom or dad can go to a professional to talk about their feelings and struggles. This can help them to better understand how to deal with their emotions.
- You can talk to my doctor or therapist and ask questions to better understand what mom or dad is dealing with as it relates to bipolar disorder.
What Your Child Can Do to Help
Very young children may not be able to help their parents. However, slightly older kids can provide some of the family support that is needed for folks with this disorder. Though it is not the job of children to provide support to adults, having a sound family network is helpful and can even serve as a distraction. Participating in some of those everyday family activities can distract you from your depressive episodes. Sticking to a routine with your kids can also help you to cope when you feel out of control. “Even though children can’t fix bipolar disorder, sometimes just having kids that know what you are going through and understanding that you have an illness and can get better with treatment helps.”
If you are struggling with bipolar disorder or another mental health condition, do not wait to get help. For more information on how to seek mental health treatment, check out this resource list by the CDC (Centers for Disease Control).
If you’re in need of connection, consider joining our Mental Health and Behavior Forum on PLM. We have a great community of other individuals who understand what you are going through and are eager to chat with you!