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What Is Social Anxiety and How Does It Feel?
Social anxiety is a phobia where an individual feels intense fear that they are being scrutinized, evaluated, or judged by others. Often confused for being shy, social anxiety is a diagnosable mental health disorder. This phobia can affect work, school, and other day-to-day activities.
Social anxiety disorder can be a chronic mental health condition, but learning coping skills in psychotherapy and taking medications can help you gain confidence and improve your ability to interact with others.”
Mayo Clinic
Of course, it is normal for anyone to feel nervous in various social situations. Often, people depend on small amounts of alcohol or other social lubricants to feel more confident in new environments. The difference between these examples and social anxiety is that these fears and anxieties will begin to hinder your life.
Symptoms of Social Anxiety
The National Institute of Mental Health lists a variety of symptoms for individuals with social anxiety, including:
- Blushing, sweating, or trembling.
- Have a rapid heart rate.
- Blanking out or feeling nauseated.
- Having a rigid body posture.
- Speaking at an inaudible volume.
- Finding it difficult to make eye contact, be around people they do not know, or talk to people in social situations, even when they want to.
- Feeling self-consciousness or fear that people will judge them negatively.
- Avoiding places where there are other people.
What Causes Social Anxiety Disorder?
Although the root cause of social anxiety disorder is not known, many specialists have speculated that it runs in families. There is likely a genetic component to social anxiety and social phobia, and often these traits are passed down from generation to generation. The National Insititute of Mental Health states “researchers have found that several parts of the brain are involved in fear and anxiety and genetics influence how these areas function.”
Tips for Managing Social Interactions
Talking to people when you have social anxiety disorder can prove stressful. This is usually because people with social anxiety disorder struggle with some basic social skills. Social skills are "the skills we use to communicate and interact with each other, both verbally and non-verbally, through gestures, body language and our personal appearance,” as defined by the American Psychological Association. Without confidence in these basic skills, many people with social anxiety disorder struggle in everyday interactions.
Numerous studies have shown that individuals with social anxiety disorder tend to assume they are less socially adept than they are. People with this disorder tend to assume they are more awkward or negatively perceived than others tend to feel they are. This perception makes it difficult to overcome what would otherwise feel normal for those of us without this disorder.
To improve your social experience, there are a few things you can practice when navigating new situations. Some are actual social skills that you can build over time while others are self-care routines that will help you to build confidence and lessen your anxiety.
Exercise Regularly
When you expend energy on a regular basis, it has been proven to lessen anxiety. It has also been linked with lessening depression and other negative emotions. Realistically, there are no downsides to getting your body moving.
Take it One Step at a Time
If you are in an overwhelming social situation, find the few people that you do know in the crowd. Do not feel responsible for talking to everybody your first time out.
This can cause immense anxiety and even cause you to spiral. Instead, credit yourself for those you can talk to and try introducing yourself to one new person next time. The shame of feeling anxious can be consuming. Make sure to practice mindfulness to celebrate your wins and avoid criticizing yourself for what you cannot yet do.
Avoid Mind and Mood-Altering Substances
Alcohol is easy to depend on for social lubricant, but it can hinder your social skills progress. Realistically, when people are interacting with an intoxicated version of you, they are not getting the chance to meet the real person behind the substance. A drink or two is one thing, but if you lose your sense of self, you may be in for a rough night.
Practice Self-Care
After you have put yourself through the social ringer, you deserve some time to rest and rejuvenate. Make sure to do some of your favorite things or eat some of your favorite foods after putting yourself out there. You deserve to treat yourself to something enjoyable as you challenge yourself to stretch and grow.
How to Build Confidence When You Have Social Anxiety
There are a few ways to build up social confidence on a regular basis. Although it may seem silly, these simple tips will help you feel more successful in social situations, lessen your anxiety, and build up your self-esteem.
Note Your Body Language
We have not touched on body language too much in this piece, but it is incredibly important. In fact, non-verbal communication, like facial expressions, is as important as verbal communication. Avoiding eye contact, for instance, may unintentionally communicate to someone that you are disinterested in what they are saying. It can also convey a lack of confidence.
Approaching people with strong posture and warmth is a terrific way to help people feel comfortable approaching you. Consider practicing your posture and eye contact in a mirror before hitting the town.
Pay Attention to Your Tone of Voice
Speaking clearly and directly is a solid way to open up. When you are authentic and confident, as opposed to being sarcastic or shut down, people will naturally want to interact with you. In reality? You get out what you put in when it comes to socializing. Make sure to put your best foot forward.
Listen Closely
Not only is eye contact critical, but listening to what people are saying is just as important. Put down the phone and pay attention. No one wants to talk to the top of your head.
Smile
Did you know that smiling can change your brain chemistry?
When you smile, your brain releases dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin. These neurotransmitters are associated with lowering your anxiety and increasing feelings of happiness.”
Aultman Hospital
So, smiling, while considered positive in social situations, will also help you feel better and less stressed.
Don't Give Up Hope for Managing Your Social Anxiety
It may seem impossible to implement these ideas on your next outing, and we do not recommend you do. Remember, start small when you are approaching new social situations. Pick one or two things off the list to try with people you already know. Gradually build up your confidence and social stamina before diving into unfamiliar territory. If you are struggling with debilitating social anxiety and it is impacting your day-to-day life, please seek professional help.
There are various therapies including CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) as well as a slew of anxiety medications that can help you to change your habits and heal some of your social traumas. If you would like to discuss social anxiety in more depth, consider joining our Mental and Behavioral Health Forum on the PatientsLikeMe website. There you can connect with other like-minded people who may be going through the exact same thing.